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Life after war

REMEMBRANCE Day is more than just a of minute silence for Koraleigh ex-serviceman Stephen Hayes.

“It’s a day to reflect on our past and to move forward,” the current Woorinen RSL president told The Guardian.

Mr Hayes laid a wreath on behalf of the Woorinen RSL sub-branch at the Swan Hill service on Monday morning.

“We try to participate as much as we can, there is no competition between branches, instead it is about getting as many people involved as possible,” he said.

“We also laid a wreath and flew the flag at half-mast in Woorinen.”

Mr Hayes said it was touching to see such a large portion of the younger generation involved in this year’s Swan Hill service.

“It was really good to see so many young people involved,” he said.

“There were representatives from every school in Swan Hill, seeing the kids walk up so proud and lay the wreaths, that is pretty significant.

“It’s all about getting the importance of remembrance back up there again.”

Following 28 years of service, Mr Hayes was medically discharged from the Royal Australian Air Force on July 13, 2015.

His tours as an aircraft life support fitter, included a year of service in Afghanistan.

“I didn’t have a choice, it was just my turn to go,” he said.

“I don’t talk about it very much, it’s stuff that people don’t need to know and it hasn’t been my proudest moment.”

Mr Hayes said Remembrance Day is a time to pause and honour the fallen.

“Remembrance Day and Anzac Day are the two times of the year that I wear my medals,” he said.

“When I put them on, a lot of stuff comes back. But I try and isolate what I went through; the day is for the ones who didn’t come back.

“Millions of people were killed in the war which is why we take one-minute out of each year to remember them. It’s a very small token but it means a lot.”

Mr Hayes said everyone has different methods of coping post military work and for him, joining the local RSL has been a major turning point.

“My wife, Cheryl, and I have been involved for about 10 years,” he said.

“I became the president at the end of last year and was vice president three years before that. It’s been pretty challenging but also exciting.”

Almost 100 members now form the Woorinen RSL who meet on the second Tuesday of every month at the Woorinen Football Club.

“We have a really close unit and work well together,” Mr Hayes said.

“RSL is all for fostering the community and the people who live there, they are the ones who know the town.”

Earlier this year, new memorial gates were installed at the entrance of the football grounds, which Mr Hayes said he is immensely proud of.

“I still have people coming up and saying how great the gates look,” he said.

“We’re looking forward to stage two kicking off — we’re putting in a rotunda so primary schools can come out and learn. Learn about the war and the locals who served.”

Mr Hayes said educating the younger generation was a key factor in moving forward.

“It seems as though Remembrance Day skipped a generation but we need to hold onto it and keep it going,” he said.

“It’s great to see primary schools are getting more and more aware but we need to foster them.

“And giving them that awareness seems to be paying off.”

When asked of what else can be done today to help deliver the lessons from war, Mr Hayes said it would be beneficial for more returned soldiers to open up.

“I think more of the soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan need to come out of the woodwork,” he said.

“A lot of us suffer from post traumatic stress disorder and don’t mix well with crowds, but there is huge amounts of help available and it’s not as daunting as you think.

“The RSL is a great bunch of people, sometimes you have to deal with more than one person but the benefits really do outweigh the cons.”

Mr Hayes said while there was previously very little support for people trying to find their feet after military service, initiatives such as the Invictus Games were changing that.

“A lot of awareness extends from Invictus Games and I’m really not sure if I’d still be here if I hadn’t have competed last year,” he said.

“The guys who are part of the Invictus tour encourage you to join major associations and sporting clubs and that type of stuff to help you to continue to move forward.”

Mr Hayes could not speak more highly of getting involved in different organisations at the local level.

“It’s getting involved in things like sporting clubs because otherwise you don’t leave the house,” he said.

“I spent five months sitting in my lounge room while I was still serving because of injuries.

“We hit lows where you just don’t want to go on, but that’s when you find a small positive out of a large negative and you keep on going.”

Mr Hayes said there was also a great amount of help available for partners of veterans.

“My wife is my full-time carer which I will always be grateful for,” he said.

“If anyone needs help give us a call. Even just to talk or have a coffee — we would rather talk to you then read about you in the paper.

“And at the end of the day, that’s what it’s all about, if you can save one guy from committing suicide then it’s worth it.”

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