BEING the victim of domestic violence can be traumatic, but for one Balranald woman getting out of the situation makes her “500 times the person I was”.
For legal reasons, the family will remain anonymous.
“I was at work one day, and we got home, he turned up and was angry and aggravated and physically assaulted me,” the woman told The Guardian.
“I don’t know if he knocked me out or what he’d done.”
The victim said she woke to find her partner sitting on their chest, with his arms around her neck and saying: “I’m going to kill you.”
The incident occurred in front of three of their children.
The woman said that, years after the incident, she had been “very conditioned” to abuse.
“You put so much on yourself as a parent, a partner, and a piece of a couple that you don’t externally see,” she said.
“You don’t look at yourself that hard and see that it’s not acceptable.
She said she had become accustomed to the situation, with “small things” such as verbal and social abuse.
“A lot of it isn’t just physical; it’s emotional, financial, social and sexual abuse.
“You don’t realise the build-up of it because it’s a relationship or marriage or whatever it is for you.
“Now that I’m out of it I can sit there and tell you the moment our marriage changed.”
She said her ex-partner’s behaviour wasn’t just traumatic, but “complete turmoil”.
“I had to explain to him that his life changed dramatically because he conditioned me to be at his beck and call; he controlled me.”
She said she was able to turn to colleagues to seek help.
“I had close links … to friends who I could ring at the drop of a hat, for that comfort, need and support that a lot of people didn’t have and don’t have today,” they said.
When she decided to leave the relationship, she didn’t know where to turn, but help from a local business saved her.
She said there was still stigma around domestic violence.
“It’s still a taboo subject in this day and age,” they said.
“It’s not something that should be hidden.
“It’s for awareness for other women. I’ve lived and survived it and I’m 500 times the person I was.”
The last Friday of July marks White Ribbon Night.
White Ribbon Australia is a part of a global social movement working to eliminate gendered violence, striving for an Australian society where all women and children are safe.
